Give Me Liberty or Give Me Subclinical Myocarditis

Sudden Death? More Like Sudden Border Security!

In lieu of a Substack piece this week, I hope y’all will enjoy my latest at The Federalist. As you will understand while reading it, I’m having a bit of a rough week! I will have to get this stupid, pointless shot for no medical reason sometime this month, so bear with me, hopefully I (and my cardiac muscle tissue) will get over it soon.

The Federalist editors are the kindest I’ve ever met and they worked patiently with me to tone down the initial high anger/snark level of the story (to get a sense of my mood, the initial draft included a line about Congress declaring “that no foreigner can be accepted as a legal American without first personally performing a late term abortion while reciting a sonnet celebrating Rachel Levine’s feminine mystique”). As a Substack exclusive for you my dear readers, I thought I’d share with my discarded attempt at an opening paragraph:

What is the dumbest, most harmful, most pointless act of deliberate self-injury you can imagine? Picture one of those Tik Tok challenges where kids compete to see how long they can blackout for or how much Benadryl they can chug. Perhaps, if you’re closer to my age, your mind jumps to Johnny Knoxville and friends taking cattle prods to the groin. Whatever the act of irrational, dangerous imbecility, imagine further a country that requires all immigrants to perform it. What would it say about the nature and character of the country making such rules – and what would it say about the intelligence and wisdom of the immigrants glad to follow them? I’m sad to inform you that there is such a country, and millions of such immigrants: your own.

To read the slightly less bitter final product, please head to The Federalist, here. If you like it, please do share widely (twitter link here, facebook link here), it is much appreciated.

While of course much of my anger is selfish, I promise there is a larger point related to America as a whole. As I put it in the piece, do we want a nation of principled Djokovics, or of triple-boosted Trudeaus?

Finally, something that didn’t belong in the article but bears mentioning: living in Texas, overwhelmed by millions of illegal border crossers the government ignores (some likely with far more pressing public health concerns than a missing Pfizer booster), while the same government forces law-abiding immigrants like me to harm our bodies with unnecessary injections, well, it just makes the anarcho-tyranny really hit home, you know?

In other words, it seems that there are two kinds of immigrants to America:

- ones that jump the line, break the law as their first act in the country, and give the finger to honest citizenship

- chumps with Pfizer-induced myocarditis

Well, I will stop ranting now, I apologize, just don’t get a kick out of being a chump. Thank you for bearing with me, and have a wonderful, hopefully lipid-nanoparticle-free, weekend!