Saturday Night at the Movies: Make Musicals Great Again

A Survival Guide for this Weekend's Oscars

“Well, the Oscar nominations are in, and I don't care either, but it is interesting to note that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and other Wastes of God's Precious Gift of Life have chosen to nominate movies no one saw, celebrating perversions no one cares about, in order to parade a virtue they don't have to an audience that is no longer there. In doing this, Hollywood is sending a message to the people formerly known as moviegoers. And the message is this, and I quote, ‘Screw you.’”

That’s how novelist and screenwriter Andrew Klavan puts it, and I can’t put it any better (don’t miss the rest of his monologue here).

Yet there is one oddity about this year’s nominations (I mean, besides all the usual perversity). The film that was showered with nominations – 13, tying Gone with Wind and coming up just one short of the all-time record – is a musical. Yes, it’s a terrible, transgender musical that is so unbelievably bad that people are arguing it must be a hoax– but it’s a musical nonetheless. Meanwhile, another richly lavished film – with 10 nominations – is Wicked, which is, you know, an actual real musical that people went to see this year and is thus less likely to be a Springtime For Hitler-style tax fraud.

All of which is to ask the question on everyone’s mind this year (well, ok, maybe just mine): are musicals making a comeback?

I know, I know, asking this question based on this year’s slate of nominees and the state of Hollywood in general is like wondering whether one of the deck chairs on the Titanic will float happily across the waves to claim a lovely poolside spot at the Miami Hilton, but let’s go with it.

Thus, as we are poised to enter The Great Musical Revival of 2025, here’s some pointers, from a lifelong musical lover, to help you, my discerning readers, embrace the best of the form – and avoid the worst.

Hint: the reasons musicals went from the definitive form of American mass entertainment to the irrelevant transgender glee club subculture they now occupy is because Hollywood leaned into all the worst stereotypes of musical entertainment and scared a national audience away. It does not have to be this way. Let me show you where Hollywood went wrong – and where it used to go right.

Warning: what follows will be thousands of words, and countless videos, on Hollywood musicals. If you have no interest in this topic, you won’t hurt my feelings, don’t worry, no need to keep reading, and keep an eye out for more to come on medical topics soon!

Musicals are not about singing.

Yes, you read that right. Now, don’t get me wrong, pretty hard to put together a quality musical with a cast of mimes, and RFK Jr. wouldn’t be my first casting choice for Captain von Trapp, but you don’t have to be capable of shattering glassware with your high notes to be a musical star.

Perhaps no pairing embodies the beloved popularity of the Hollywood musical like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers – neither of whom would have exactly shot to stardom had they to rely on their vocal stylings alone. Yet is there any duo who introduced more standards to the Great American Songbook? When you’ve got songs – timeless songs written by geniuses like Gershwin and Berlin – you don’t need to impress the cheap seats with your vocal fireworks. Take a look:

The Way You Look Tonight

That’s a number by Jerome Kern and Dorothy Fields. Here’s Ginger, with one of my favorite Gershwin tunes:

Ginger Rogers - They all Laughed from Shall we Dance (1937)

Nobody’s confusing Fred with Perry Como or Ginger with Ella Fitzgerald, but that’s ok. They could carry a tune - and what tunes they were given to carry! Their charm, their acting, their chemistry more than made up for the lack of operatic range.

Astaire’s biggest rival for top billing as America’s greatest musical star? No, it wasn’t the famously velvet fogged voice of Mel Tormé, it was another frankly workmanlike singer, Gene Kelly. I mean, Kelly’s a much better singer than I am, but, honestly, vocally, he’s no Fred Astaire, let alone Bing Crosby. But why would audiences care, when he could do this?

Singin' in the Rain (Full Song/Dance - '52) - Gene Kelly - Musical Romantic Comedies - 1950s Movies

As for Bing and the few other genuine cinematic superstars who did have that range? Back in those days, they were embarrassed about it! That is to say, rather than make their movies all about what amazing voices they had, they typically put in self-deprecating moments/songs to lightheartedly mock their own talent.

Probably the single greatest combination of genuine singing talent and movie musical stardom was Julie Andrews. Trust me, she could have spent all movie, every movie just showing off. Instead, she let us in on the joke, as in this scene with Mary Poppins’ mirror:

Mirror Scene - Mary Poppins 1964

Meanwhile, here’s Bing, singing circles around Fred Astaire – but only in a deliberately comic, self-referential number, with Fred dancing circles right back around him:

Holiday Inn (1942) -- "I'll capture her heart dancing"

To emphasize, that scene is from Holiday Inn, the movie in which Crosby introduced the world to Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas.” If anyone merits an inflated ego, it’s the guy singing one of the most popular songs of all time. Yet in the very same movie he makes fun of his own singing talent. “Diva” is not the operative term here.

On the other hand, here is Wicked star Cynthia Erivo butchering – excuse me, performing to rapturous applause – a Sinatra standard at this year’s Grammy Awards. I couldn’t bear the whole performance so I cued it up to the relevant vocal acrobatics that astounded the audience:

Question for the undoubtedly lovely Ms Erivo: if Sinatra was indeed such a legendary singer that you are here to pay tribute to his memory on a national stage, does it strike you as at all odd that he never inserted 45 trills in the middle of each syllable? Did he secretly suffer from chronic laryngitis? Or perhaps, maybe, just maybe, he liked to let the song do the singing…

Speaking of Old Blue Eyes, let me call your attention to a lesser known, outstanding musical that breaks my rules by featuring arguably the two greatest singers of their time: Frank Sinatra and Doris Day. Young At Heart is a small, sweet drama about a down-on-his-luck songwriter and the kind family that takes him in. Unlike the musicals you might encounter today, there are absolutely zero big production numbers, nor do the actors ever break character to burst into song. The biggest suspension of disbelief the movie asks of us is to imagine a bar full of patrons giving Sinatra the cold shoulder as he performs this timeless classic:

One For My Baby

Consider, further, for both singing superstars Frank and Doris: both were such good actors they made countless movies without a single warble at all. Sinatra won an acting Oscar and was nominated for another (as one of his friends said, in amazement, regarding his acting: “and that’s not even his day job!”). Day was nominated for an acting Oscar, too, and was a genuinely talented comic star (though she could pull off a Hitchcock classic, too). These people were gifted to a degree we cannot even conceive of today.

Consider, too, one of the biggest hit movie songs of all time, the song that won the Oscar and the Grammy for song of the year, the song that became one of the most well-known movie numbers of all time. Here it is, being introduced to the world by… Audrey Hepburn. You know, the legendary Oscar-winning actress whose voice was considered so bad it had to be dubbed over in My Fair Lady. Well, she finally got her chance, in Breakfast at Tiffany’s (though up til the last moment, the producers tried to cut this scene):

Breakfast at Tiffany's (3/9) Movie CLIP - Moon River (1961) HD

A (much overdue) last word on this topic. When Woody Allen set out to make his own musical (which really isn’t bad at all), he deliberately chose non-singers for the roles (and, when casting them, didn’t tell them the film was going to be a musical). Goldie Hawn, who had a background in musical theatre, even had to be directed by Allen to sing worse! This is because Allen, a jazz enthusiast who knows the Great American Songbook like the back of his hand, understands what makes great musicals great, whether for Astaire and co in the 1930s or for Tim Roth in the 1990s: it’s the song, the music, the acting.

Tim Roth - If I Had You

Singing til your belt buckle snaps, my dear Ms Erivo, is for the amateurs.

Musicals Don’t Need To Induce Seizures

An old Hollywood joke. Two friends meet. One has gone into the pictures, he’s a producer, and he’s making a killing. He explains his methods: “We make a big picture. I hire five thousand cowboys, five thousand Indians. The audiences love it.” His friend is astonished: “But, ten thousand actors! How do you afford it all?” “Simple,” the impresario replies: “We use real bullets.”

This is a joke about what we used to call “B” movies, a kind of mediocre, money-making, audience pleaser that was typically all about spectacle, spectacle, spectacle. Consider them the 1930s version of Marvel CGI movies.

There were some musicals that undoubtedly fit into this category, most notably the Busby Berkeley musicals. These were outlandishly lavish, highly stylized productions with thousands of chorus girls dancing in synchrony, overwhelming the audience with choreography – imagine being surrounded and viciously assaulted by the Radio City Rockettes, on speed, for two hours, and you begin to get the picture. A sampling:

The Musical Magic of Busby Berkeley | Warner Archive

True, Berkeley style musicals were very popular in the early years of the Depression, but so was eating your cat, and thankfully America and Hollywood quickly moved on. Most musicals from the Golden Age were like the clips of Astaire and friends above: intimate, personal. Even with a more lavish technicolor musical, you don’t need an army of extras when you’ve got Judy Garland singing the best Christmas song of all time:

Meet Me In St. Louis | Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas | Warner Classics

Undoubtedly, certain musicals would continue to have vibrant, colorful, choreographed musical numbers, but even then they typically increased the focus on substance and talent, instead of distracting us from the lack of talent with an abundance of spectacle. Gene Kelly, in short, was no Busby showgirl, and neither was Cyd Charisse:

Singin' in the Rain - Cyd Charisse & Gene Kelly

Then there is the famous barn dance from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Again, the focus is on the incredible skill of the individuals (all very accomplished professional dancers), not on browbeating the audience into sensory overload.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (5/10) Movie CLIP - The Barn Dance (1954) HD - YouTube

One of Hollywood’s greatest musical choreographers was the legendary Bob Fosse. He relied on his distinctive style and his talent – not inducing seizures in his audience. Here is the man himself, early in his career, briefly stealing the show from Cole Porter, no easy feat:

From This Moment On - Kiss me Kate (1953) - Bob Fosse and Carol Haney

In contrast to all the above, ladies and gentlemen, a typical scene from Wicked :

One Short Day (From "Wicked"/Official Video) Ariana Grande, Cynthia Erivo

Even the ghost of Busby Berkely looked at that and said, “You know, it’s a little much.”

Wicked is a dull, morally twisted (in the most overdone, boring sense) re-telling of The Wizard of Oz. So let’s go back to the original and take a look at its most lasting, iconic number. No technicolor, no armies of munchkins, no flying monkeys needed. Just a girl, singing about a rainbow, in black and white:

Somewhere Over the Rainbow - The Wizard of Oz (1/8) Movie CLIP (1939) HD

Take a look at Hollywood’s musical revival, and it’s clear we’re not in Kansas anymore. Movies like Wicked lean in to CGI spectacle, not because they can, but because they have to. They have to bet the farm on Berkeley-esque complexity to distract the audience from a simple lack of talent.

Musicals Don’t Have to be Gay

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m not getting into politics or morality here, just putting on my Seinfeld hat and making the observation.

There is a common misconception that Hollywood used to be so repressed, so ignorant of homosexuality, and that only in recent years did filmmakers learn how joyously musical the queer life can be. This is not even close to true.

Here, for instance, from 1938, and my favorite movie, is Cary Grant. Due to a series of very unfortunate circumstances cleverly plotted by Katherine Hepburn, his clothes have been stolen and he has been reduced to wearing a woman’s bathrobe. Overcome by anger and frustration, he can’t take it anymore when a lady asks him why on earth he’s dressed like a girl:

Bringing Up Baby (4/9) Movie CLIP - I Just Went Gay All of a Sudden (1938) HD

Fast forward a few decades. It’s 1974. Here is Mel Brooks’ comedy classic, Blazing Saddles, presenting a memorable musical number (language warning):

Blazing Saddles- The French Mistake

Note to modern Hollywood producers: that was a parody, not a how-to guide.

Another couple decades, and here’s Nathan Lane in The Birdcage:

THE BIRDCAGE (1996) | How to Act Like a Man | MGM - YouTube

Yes, from the 1930s to the 1990s, filmmakers could easily queen it up if they wanted to; the technological capability to swish one’s hips existed even before CGI explosions. That Hollywood didn’t go all in on that for every single movie wasn’t a sign of repression: they were aiming to entertain the masses with talent, not cater to any particularly flamboyant subculture. For Heaven’s sake, I’ve seen Lilith Fair performances with more testosterone than the cast of Wicked. In a show already focused on two strong female leads, you’d think you’d need to have some sort of robust masculine presence to even things out – instead, they give the two witches a couple of sidekicks straight out of, well, The French Mistake.

I direct your attention once more to the clips above of Fred Astaire, Bing Crosby, and Frank Sinatra. Musicals do not have to be gay. In their Golden Age, they weren’t. And audiences – of men and women - flocked to them. Remember, for instance, that the biggest box office hit of the early 1950s – absolutely smashing records throughout the nation and the world – was The Great Caruso, a musical about opera singers.

What Happened?

Here’s my theory of why the American movie musical collapsed. Like I said to start, musicals are fundamentally about songs. And the songwriters just up and left Hollywood. During the Golden Age, the likes of Berlin, Gershwin, Mercer, and Fields were writing non-stop for the studios. But after the studio system’s death, our great American songwriters wrote for themselves, for the pop charts, not for some Hollywood production. Imagine an alternate history where Paul Simon, Paul McCartney, Joni Mitchell, Carole King and the like were employed behind-the-scenes at MGM, churning out hits for the day’s big movie stars, instead of for pop stars or instead of becoming stars themselves.

As it is, today, the great post-Golden Age songwriters seem to be the only path to a popular musical. This year’s Bob Dylan biopic is just the latest in a long trend that has already seen big hits for Walk the Line (Johnny Cash), Jersey Boys (The Four Seasons), Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen), Beautiful (Carole King), and the like. Coming soon: The Kinks Musical! (Yes, really). These “jukebox musicals” are the only popular musicals still around, because of their use of popular songwriting talent.

But I have good news: the music industry is dead. That is to say, you can’t make a living as a singer/songwriter anymore, what with everyone able to share your music for free online. The silver lining for us: instead of trying to stay afloat by touring all year, any talented musicians out there can settle down in Hollywood! The time has never been better for a return to the musical studio system of old. I know it’s a longshot, but it may be the only way to save both Hollywood and independent musicians.

All hope is not lost. We can make musicals great again. Ok, maybe not this year, or the next. But maybe someday?

While we’re waiting, and while we’re enjoying not watching tomorrow’s Oscars, here’s a definitive, objective ranking of the ten greatest musicals of all time to get you started:

1 through 5: Any five Fred Astaire-Ginger Rogers films.

6. My Fair Lady

7. Meet Me in St Louis

8. Easter Parade

9. Singing In the Rain

10. Yankee Doodle Dandy

Another promising list here. Feel free to add your own in the comments, and thank you for reading!