Jul 21, 2023·edited Jul 21, 2023Liked by Adrian Gaty
My family and I watched Great Expectations a while ago. I was shocked because it was one of Dickens' novels I'd never read, and I didn't anticipate how much I'd hate Miss Havisham. Bitterness really uglifies the soul.
I lived in the DC metro area and in DC itself for about 15 years and the city then as probably now, was full of left leaning people. There were so many women there who had missed the boat and were seeking fulfillment in ways that seemed empty, if that's all you have to go home to. And many seemed lost and not necessarily bitter, but combative. Generalizing is risky because people are complex but it seemed that many of those single women were lonely and in complicated situations.
When I got married and pregnant and quit my job at NASA to stay home with our children, single female friends there often couldn't understand the decision to do so. They joked about how could I stand daytime TV, and how they could never be a diaper head like me. We drifted apart. But it was alright; I was 39 when our first son was born. In hindsight, that was waiting far too long, but we were blessed with children. I'd waited for the right man. By the grace of God, I became a "diaper head".
Man I love how you write. I cannot think of anything MORE important than family. As I grew up I spent half my life amassing my thing and independence and $. Now for the second half of life I’m getting rid of things and seeing that the only thing that matters is connection with others, family first. And it’s not only easy but it’s wonderful.
Great article. I could hardly get through that Ms. Magazine article. I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on social media saying that average age of having your first child (for women) is now 30. The comments are filled with women talking about how glad they were to have waited til mid 30s or even 40 (many of which haven’t even become pregnant yet). Tons of comments and likes on those! Then there’s me who says I had my first child at 22, and my other two before 30. I would love to have another, but getting and staying pregnant has proven to be difficult, starting with my third. I have endometriosis and other hormonal issues that didn’t manifest until in my later 20s. I thank God every night I had my children earlier in life - if I’d waited, perhaps I wouldn’t have been able to have any. Yes, I was young (I mean, at 33, I still am), but being a mother for the past 11 years has brought me far more joy than anything else. I grew up always being the girl to say in school she wanted to be a mom. In church, I taught the 13-14 year old girls for a time, and I felt like it was looked down on to even encourage motherhood over getting a big career (despite our church having a very strong stance on the importance of motherhood). It’s sad to see.
Oh, and my comment about being grateful I had my children earlier elicited far fewer likes or praise than the others. Surprise surprise.
That article you linked on the toxic war against masculinity was fascinating but just confirmed the thoughts I’ve already had. My husband and I both are home, work for ourselves, and spend significant time together and with our children. I can’t tell you how many people say “how can you stand that???” I always want to respond to “how can you stand not to?!” I have three boys, and the influence their involved father has on them cannot be replaced.
Well I think having them at 18 is fine, if you find the right man. Career, wealth, social standing are all tinsel if they cost you children and family.
A 40s-ish professional woman I knew and respected told me she was infertile. I felt horrible for her. But she told me something I never forgot. If you don't learn to live for something outside yourself, be it children or some greater cause than your me-time, then you've blown it. She was a brilliant psychiatrist and helped a lot of people. She coped with her childlessness by living to help people.
I have two sons and they're the light of my life. Their father is a tree of life to them. I feel for kids whose fathers are nothing but sperm donors.
Thank you for your insightful observations on this state of our country and the devaluing of the family. A generation of feminists - who are pretty old gals by now - are nowwhere to be heard when men who like to dress up like women can compete in women’s sports. Their legacy seems to be two generations of young women who are lost. Nowadays when some young person speaks up they almost seem like the exception instead of the rule and I hope that’s not true.
Sep 2, 2023·edited Sep 2, 2023Liked by Adrian Gaty
You might want to read more as there are plenty of “old gals” on the front lines of the fight with the trans cult. In fact feminist professor Janice Raymond wrote The Transgender Empire back in 1979, warning about the rise and goals of this cult. But as usual, she was not published in any mainstream media as far as I know. Then there’s The Women’s Liberation Front (WOLF) that has filed amicus briefs In just about every “trans” case in the legal system. Germaine Greer, Helen Joyce, JK Rowling and countless old gals have been busy writing. Then there’s the young gals, such as Megan Murphy, Genevieve Gluck, etc. Trans is the legacy of a world that despises females, made up of the same deranged men and their handmaidens who screamed and gnashed their teeth when Title IX was passed. These are the same people telling women today to shut up and threatening violence if we say men aren’t women. An unmarried and childless woman may be lonely later in life, but that’s her choice.
I don’t mean to put you on the spot, but did you speak up for and defend your professor while your classmates were trashing him and later when he was forced to publicly apologize?
Nobody knew the classmates were trashing him! To this day I don’t know who complained, if it was one or two or a dozen. There was no public debate about it. Nobody I knew seemed bothered by the lecture. But somebody said something, because the next time we had that prof, a week or two later, he started out the class reading the creepy apology!
The somebody or somebodies who said something will likely pay for their folly in some fashion, at some point. I’m sure you would have said something in the prof’s defense, given the chance.
My family and I watched Great Expectations a while ago. I was shocked because it was one of Dickens' novels I'd never read, and I didn't anticipate how much I'd hate Miss Havisham. Bitterness really uglifies the soul.
I lived in the DC metro area and in DC itself for about 15 years and the city then as probably now, was full of left leaning people. There were so many women there who had missed the boat and were seeking fulfillment in ways that seemed empty, if that's all you have to go home to. And many seemed lost and not necessarily bitter, but combative. Generalizing is risky because people are complex but it seemed that many of those single women were lonely and in complicated situations.
When I got married and pregnant and quit my job at NASA to stay home with our children, single female friends there often couldn't understand the decision to do so. They joked about how could I stand daytime TV, and how they could never be a diaper head like me. We drifted apart. But it was alright; I was 39 when our first son was born. In hindsight, that was waiting far too long, but we were blessed with children. I'd waited for the right man. By the grace of God, I became a "diaper head".
Man I love how you write. I cannot think of anything MORE important than family. As I grew up I spent half my life amassing my thing and independence and $. Now for the second half of life I’m getting rid of things and seeing that the only thing that matters is connection with others, family first. And it’s not only easy but it’s wonderful.
Great article. I could hardly get through that Ms. Magazine article. I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on social media saying that average age of having your first child (for women) is now 30. The comments are filled with women talking about how glad they were to have waited til mid 30s or even 40 (many of which haven’t even become pregnant yet). Tons of comments and likes on those! Then there’s me who says I had my first child at 22, and my other two before 30. I would love to have another, but getting and staying pregnant has proven to be difficult, starting with my third. I have endometriosis and other hormonal issues that didn’t manifest until in my later 20s. I thank God every night I had my children earlier in life - if I’d waited, perhaps I wouldn’t have been able to have any. Yes, I was young (I mean, at 33, I still am), but being a mother for the past 11 years has brought me far more joy than anything else. I grew up always being the girl to say in school she wanted to be a mom. In church, I taught the 13-14 year old girls for a time, and I felt like it was looked down on to even encourage motherhood over getting a big career (despite our church having a very strong stance on the importance of motherhood). It’s sad to see.
Oh, and my comment about being grateful I had my children earlier elicited far fewer likes or praise than the others. Surprise surprise.
That article you linked on the toxic war against masculinity was fascinating but just confirmed the thoughts I’ve already had. My husband and I both are home, work for ourselves, and spend significant time together and with our children. I can’t tell you how many people say “how can you stand that???” I always want to respond to “how can you stand not to?!” I have three boys, and the influence their involved father has on them cannot be replaced.
Well I think having them at 18 is fine, if you find the right man. Career, wealth, social standing are all tinsel if they cost you children and family.
A 40s-ish professional woman I knew and respected told me she was infertile. I felt horrible for her. But she told me something I never forgot. If you don't learn to live for something outside yourself, be it children or some greater cause than your me-time, then you've blown it. She was a brilliant psychiatrist and helped a lot of people. She coped with her childlessness by living to help people.
I have two sons and they're the light of my life. Their father is a tree of life to them. I feel for kids whose fathers are nothing but sperm donors.
I should add - I didn’t need the likes and praise on my comment that I suppose others need to justify their choice.
Thank you for your insightful observations on this state of our country and the devaluing of the family. A generation of feminists - who are pretty old gals by now - are nowwhere to be heard when men who like to dress up like women can compete in women’s sports. Their legacy seems to be two generations of young women who are lost. Nowadays when some young person speaks up they almost seem like the exception instead of the rule and I hope that’s not true.
You might want to read more as there are plenty of “old gals” on the front lines of the fight with the trans cult. In fact feminist professor Janice Raymond wrote The Transgender Empire back in 1979, warning about the rise and goals of this cult. But as usual, she was not published in any mainstream media as far as I know. Then there’s The Women’s Liberation Front (WOLF) that has filed amicus briefs In just about every “trans” case in the legal system. Germaine Greer, Helen Joyce, JK Rowling and countless old gals have been busy writing. Then there’s the young gals, such as Megan Murphy, Genevieve Gluck, etc. Trans is the legacy of a world that despises females, made up of the same deranged men and their handmaidens who screamed and gnashed their teeth when Title IX was passed. These are the same people telling women today to shut up and threatening violence if we say men aren’t women. An unmarried and childless woman may be lonely later in life, but that’s her choice.
This is not meant to be snarky, just my true opinion. Perhaps it is better if women like that don’t have children.
Outstanding Sir!!
Have read every Dickens novel that I could get my hands onto.
I don’t mean to put you on the spot, but did you speak up for and defend your professor while your classmates were trashing him and later when he was forced to publicly apologize?
Nobody knew the classmates were trashing him! To this day I don’t know who complained, if it was one or two or a dozen. There was no public debate about it. Nobody I knew seemed bothered by the lecture. But somebody said something, because the next time we had that prof, a week or two later, he started out the class reading the creepy apology!
The somebody or somebodies who said something will likely pay for their folly in some fashion, at some point. I’m sure you would have said something in the prof’s defense, given the chance.
I hope so. I was pretty annoyingly outspoken even back then…
Thank you for saying the quiet part out loud.