I was a scruffy tomboy. I always loved boys. Boys seemed to have fun in ways off limits to "ladylike" girls. It was fun roughhousing with them, exploring local patches of woods, building bridges across creeks using fallen branches, even playing football with them. All this ended when I went off to seventh grade and the interest turned romantic. Now, if my teachers had kept asking me: are you a boy or a girl, I can only imagine the destruction that would have wrought. It was safe to be a tomboy because I knew I wasn't a boy and the boys knew it too. They were gentle with me in ways they weren't with each other. I'm afraid we're destroying one of the ways kids learn to appreciate the opposite sex.
You are quickly becoming my favorite substack. This post reminds me why I am so vehemently against SEL in schools as well. The constant prodding about emotions and feelings, and then some schools collect the survey data… for whatever purposes, who knows. This is also related to why play is so important, kids don’t need adult-directed SEL, they need to play and work it out themselves (to the extent that they can). Good post.
As parent to children who are quick to fear and dwell on those things that make them afraid, I so appreciate this. My children could easily go down the pipeline of 'suggested'/groomed myriad of disorders tried, as one tries on a new set of clothes, on children today... I delight when I see them face their fears in order to help their brothers, or sisters, or family, or friend. You're spot on that so much of our culture is intent on focusing everything narcisistically on oneself instead of turning our naturally narcisistic self focus toward others.
Obviously a difficult topic to address without many becoming upset at perceived dismissal of actual problems: well handled on your part.
Thank you. I am going to ask myself the four questions daily. This week I was of service to 5 people, one extensively. The bravest (and most correct action) was apologising after someone was the recipient of my bad mood. I imitated Gramma Moses by trying to keep learning new skills at this age. I prayed for family members who hurt me (could do more of this). And I imitated the saints by helping to make the Word accessible. Thank you for the great essays on this substack. You are right on!
Wonderful. We listen to saint stories for kids podcast sometimes as the kids are settling in bed. Great resource for those looking to teach (younger) kids about the saints (although I enjoy the stories too).
Great reminder- I will start incorporating these questions with my kids. We used to say one thing we were thankful for and one thing we wanted to pray for at bedtime too, which I got from one of my kids teachers, and it also helps refocus on gratitude.
Another beautifully written post. Funnily enough, it reminds me of my maternal grandparents. I was very close to them and they were always helping me to look at the positive and hopeful side of things.
These days my thoughts of the classroom go back MANY years to my 8th grade English class taught by Miss Tracy - an elderly, single, white haired, strict disiplinarian who had taught generations of students - some naturally talkative and rather dumb like me - some brilliant like my brother and some first generation Italians who spoke no English. None of us were asked if we were happy or sad - or if we felt like a boy or girl. What we WERE asked was why we didn't understand the difference between a noun and verb or why, after 8 years in school, we couldn't write a single sentence that made grammatical sense.
Strict though she was, she knew instantly if there was somethiing wrong at home. Was a usually happy kid suddently showing signs of sadness or depression? Was a usually good student suddenly unable to perform at the usual level? If so, there was a private meeting with the parents to see what was going on.. Good teachers are totally tuned in to the kids they see every day five days a week.
After a year of education classes I took years ago to qualify as a history teacher, I was - and still am - - convinced - that many of the current crop of teachers don't know enough aboout the subject matter they were hired to teach to get through an hour a day five days a week so they opt instead to act as sexual therapists.
American culture has given kids many more reasons to have unnecessary potential mental health issues. We can’t let kids be carefree anymore. “We’re listening” is the warning from Big Nanny. And the solution? Well, the same people who cause problems are here to fix them. How convenient. If the trend continues I see the NEA requiring every student to have a gender mental health evaluation before starting school.
The trans and gender affirmation pushers are trying to force a reality on mankind that cannot be otherwise achieved without authoritarian conformity. They’re targeting the young still in their formative years. It’s their best bet. You must abide by the government stamped accepted narrative on pronouns and genders if you want to be a good little person.
“Yes Brittany, he has a penis, but he is a girl. That’s what he wants to be so you can’t call him he like I just did. He is actually a she...a girl. I was incorrectly using he and him to illustrate my point. Understand?”
Of course Brittany doesn’t understand. She’s not stupid.
Social contagion is the real deal. The question I suppose is which social group does one want to be around? When I practiced chronic non cancer pain I saw similar outcomes both with the victim and victor mentality. The former were miserable; when combined with the hopeful group of the latter almost all became victors. I suppose that’s true in recovery (from addiction) circles as well - that’s why you hear “stick with the winners” so often.
You expressed my thoughts exactly - what suggestions you give impressionable minds tend to take hold. Tend the garden of your children’s minds carefully and water and fertilize the positive buds, not the negative weeds!
Many thanks for your post you make very good points. The goals that we set are those we can achieve.
The attack on children has been two-fold, a chemical attack via vaccines and neuro-toxic drugs and the psychological via education. The chemical attacks soften up the children and confuse their thinking leaving them ripe for exploitation.
I have done this on trans words by way of amusement to bring home the insanity of what is going on.
Speaking of Pilgrim’s Progress the Gettys beat Greta to it and produced a magnificent animated version of Pilgrim’s Progress aimed at kids. It’s surprisingly well done and really a fantastic movie. My kid is still a little too young to really be interested in any of it except the fight scenes but he’s stuck watching it because we like it so much.
I appreciate that the questions we ask will impact how children and teenagers see themselves and the world around them. I think you make a convincing point.
But some teenagers, even if they have never been asked to grade their feelings, will have suicidal thoughts. The questionnaires you discussed are designed (I hope) to identify them and help them out.
Well, if you’re a doctor (or a parent) and you can’t tell a child is depressed without a questionnaire, I don’t know! One way to think of it is to ask questions (as a doc) or notice things (as a parent) that are the common symptoms of depression - like poor sleep, lack of interest in things, low energy, poor concentration, appetite changes, etc etc. A doc can ask about these things all the time without a patient having any idea we’re asking about depression, they just think we’re asking about sleep/diet/etc.
It’s like, no doc would ever diagnose cancer by asking the patient, “hey, do you have cancer?” The doc might suspect it based on symptoms, ask certain pertinent follow-up questions, then run tests to confirm, etc.
A lot can be done in medicine and parenting without questionnaires. Questionnaires are typically things that insurance companies force you to do so you can prove tangibly you did it, it’s a lot harder to document (and thus bill for) your “gestalt” experience-based sense of a person.
So take God out of everything and it must be replaced with, take your pick. A cult like the LGBT movement perhaps? That has “progressed” so now we have the trans movement. Our fault for allowing such things to fester and not pushing back and encouraging faith based everything. We got what we deserve!
What I want to know is why schools spend so much time teaching kids to accept others for who and what they are, and then teach them that they don't have to accept themselves for who and what they are? How do they not see the contradiction??? And then do they not realize that by teaching kids not to accept themselves, that it becomes impossible for kids to accept the others?
I was a scruffy tomboy. I always loved boys. Boys seemed to have fun in ways off limits to "ladylike" girls. It was fun roughhousing with them, exploring local patches of woods, building bridges across creeks using fallen branches, even playing football with them. All this ended when I went off to seventh grade and the interest turned romantic. Now, if my teachers had kept asking me: are you a boy or a girl, I can only imagine the destruction that would have wrought. It was safe to be a tomboy because I knew I wasn't a boy and the boys knew it too. They were gentle with me in ways they weren't with each other. I'm afraid we're destroying one of the ways kids learn to appreciate the opposite sex.
You are quickly becoming my favorite substack. This post reminds me why I am so vehemently against SEL in schools as well. The constant prodding about emotions and feelings, and then some schools collect the survey data… for whatever purposes, who knows. This is also related to why play is so important, kids don’t need adult-directed SEL, they need to play and work it out themselves (to the extent that they can). Good post.
Yes. SEL was coming into my schools in my last years(2019-21), and it surely felt just "wrong".
As parent to children who are quick to fear and dwell on those things that make them afraid, I so appreciate this. My children could easily go down the pipeline of 'suggested'/groomed myriad of disorders tried, as one tries on a new set of clothes, on children today... I delight when I see them face their fears in order to help their brothers, or sisters, or family, or friend. You're spot on that so much of our culture is intent on focusing everything narcisistically on oneself instead of turning our naturally narcisistic self focus toward others.
Obviously a difficult topic to address without many becoming upset at perceived dismissal of actual problems: well handled on your part.
Your writing nourishes my soul and directs my eyes to the source and meaning of life. Thank you.
Thank you!!
Thank you. I am going to ask myself the four questions daily. This week I was of service to 5 people, one extensively. The bravest (and most correct action) was apologising after someone was the recipient of my bad mood. I imitated Gramma Moses by trying to keep learning new skills at this age. I prayed for family members who hurt me (could do more of this). And I imitated the saints by helping to make the Word accessible. Thank you for the great essays on this substack. You are right on!
Wonderful. We listen to saint stories for kids podcast sometimes as the kids are settling in bed. Great resource for those looking to teach (younger) kids about the saints (although I enjoy the stories too).
Great reminder- I will start incorporating these questions with my kids. We used to say one thing we were thankful for and one thing we wanted to pray for at bedtime too, which I got from one of my kids teachers, and it also helps refocus on gratitude.
Oh man, I should have included that! We do that (what are you thankful for) with our kids every night, too. So important to cultivate gratitude!
Another beautifully written post. Funnily enough, it reminds me of my maternal grandparents. I was very close to them and they were always helping me to look at the positive and hopeful side of things.
These days my thoughts of the classroom go back MANY years to my 8th grade English class taught by Miss Tracy - an elderly, single, white haired, strict disiplinarian who had taught generations of students - some naturally talkative and rather dumb like me - some brilliant like my brother and some first generation Italians who spoke no English. None of us were asked if we were happy or sad - or if we felt like a boy or girl. What we WERE asked was why we didn't understand the difference between a noun and verb or why, after 8 years in school, we couldn't write a single sentence that made grammatical sense.
Strict though she was, she knew instantly if there was somethiing wrong at home. Was a usually happy kid suddently showing signs of sadness or depression? Was a usually good student suddenly unable to perform at the usual level? If so, there was a private meeting with the parents to see what was going on.. Good teachers are totally tuned in to the kids they see every day five days a week.
After a year of education classes I took years ago to qualify as a history teacher, I was - and still am - - convinced - that many of the current crop of teachers don't know enough aboout the subject matter they were hired to teach to get through an hour a day five days a week so they opt instead to act as sexual therapists.
Thank you, what a wonderful comment, I appreciate it!
American culture has given kids many more reasons to have unnecessary potential mental health issues. We can’t let kids be carefree anymore. “We’re listening” is the warning from Big Nanny. And the solution? Well, the same people who cause problems are here to fix them. How convenient. If the trend continues I see the NEA requiring every student to have a gender mental health evaluation before starting school.
The trans and gender affirmation pushers are trying to force a reality on mankind that cannot be otherwise achieved without authoritarian conformity. They’re targeting the young still in their formative years. It’s their best bet. You must abide by the government stamped accepted narrative on pronouns and genders if you want to be a good little person.
“Yes Brittany, he has a penis, but he is a girl. That’s what he wants to be so you can’t call him he like I just did. He is actually a she...a girl. I was incorrectly using he and him to illustrate my point. Understand?”
Of course Brittany doesn’t understand. She’s not stupid.
Social contagion is the real deal. The question I suppose is which social group does one want to be around? When I practiced chronic non cancer pain I saw similar outcomes both with the victim and victor mentality. The former were miserable; when combined with the hopeful group of the latter almost all became victors. I suppose that’s true in recovery (from addiction) circles as well - that’s why you hear “stick with the winners” so often.
You expressed my thoughts exactly - what suggestions you give impressionable minds tend to take hold. Tend the garden of your children’s minds carefully and water and fertilize the positive buds, not the negative weeds!
Hello from the UK
Many thanks for your post you make very good points. The goals that we set are those we can achieve.
The attack on children has been two-fold, a chemical attack via vaccines and neuro-toxic drugs and the psychological via education. The chemical attacks soften up the children and confuse their thinking leaving them ripe for exploitation.
I have done this on trans words by way of amusement to bring home the insanity of what is going on.
https://alphaandomegacloud.wordpress.com/2022/12/29/transgender-and-other-trans-words-definitions/
Speaking of Pilgrim’s Progress the Gettys beat Greta to it and produced a magnificent animated version of Pilgrim’s Progress aimed at kids. It’s surprisingly well done and really a fantastic movie. My kid is still a little too young to really be interested in any of it except the fight scenes but he’s stuck watching it because we like it so much.
That’s great to know - thank you!
Adrian, I’m torn here.
I appreciate that the questions we ask will impact how children and teenagers see themselves and the world around them. I think you make a convincing point.
But some teenagers, even if they have never been asked to grade their feelings, will have suicidal thoughts. The questionnaires you discussed are designed (I hope) to identify them and help them out.
Where do you draw the line?
Well, if you’re a doctor (or a parent) and you can’t tell a child is depressed without a questionnaire, I don’t know! One way to think of it is to ask questions (as a doc) or notice things (as a parent) that are the common symptoms of depression - like poor sleep, lack of interest in things, low energy, poor concentration, appetite changes, etc etc. A doc can ask about these things all the time without a patient having any idea we’re asking about depression, they just think we’re asking about sleep/diet/etc.
It’s like, no doc would ever diagnose cancer by asking the patient, “hey, do you have cancer?” The doc might suspect it based on symptoms, ask certain pertinent follow-up questions, then run tests to confirm, etc.
A lot can be done in medicine and parenting without questionnaires. Questionnaires are typically things that insurance companies force you to do so you can prove tangibly you did it, it’s a lot harder to document (and thus bill for) your “gestalt” experience-based sense of a person.
That makes a lot of sense. You also made me chuckle with “hey, do you have cancer?” Thank you for taking the time to answer.
So take God out of everything and it must be replaced with, take your pick. A cult like the LGBT movement perhaps? That has “progressed” so now we have the trans movement. Our fault for allowing such things to fester and not pushing back and encouraging faith based everything. We got what we deserve!
What I want to know is why schools spend so much time teaching kids to accept others for who and what they are, and then teach them that they don't have to accept themselves for who and what they are? How do they not see the contradiction??? And then do they not realize that by teaching kids not to accept themselves, that it becomes impossible for kids to accept the others?
Exactly!